Readdressing Anxiety

So the anxiety I was talking about last post, has absolutely nothing to do with me wondering if I'm making the right decision or not.  I know I am doing what is best for me at this point in my life.  I have a job waiting for me, I have family, and a support system.  It's about time I had an adventure.  And if this turns out to be a huge mistake, then I can always go back home.

My anxiety is more focused on not being able to see my friends whenever I want to anymore.  That and the first time I move away I decided to move two states away.  That's a really big change.  But mostly about missing my friends.

The people I'm going to miss the most are going to be Lindsay and her soon-to-be husband Jamie and my "twin" Haruko.  I've known Lindsay for about 10 years now and we've been very close the entire time.  We were the weird kids in high school who bonded over being the weird kids (except we were pretty and not really all that weird) and she's become family.  I'm going to be maid of honor in their wedding right before I move and their imaginary kids will be calling me "Aunt Bekah."  Every year we go to the Atlanta Ballet at least once and make a day of it.  Lindsay and I will have girl dates and just hang around watching movies.  We won't get to do that anymore after I move.

I haven't known Haruko nearly as long as L&J, but we are practically the same person.  We're always on the same page, have the same taste in most things, and we share our road rage.  H and I aren't actually twins, since she's older than me and six inches shorter than me, but we do have amazing twin powers.  It all started when we began showing up to work in similar if not the same outfits.  The phrase "We're friends because we hate all the same people" really was how we started being besties.

Thankfully, H is driving the 700 miles to my new home with me so I don't get bored out of my mind while driving.  Plus she wanted to go on vacation and I'll be a 10 minute drive from the beach.  So I get my friend for a little while longer before I start work and she gets a beach vacation for super cheap.  It's a win-win situation.

The way I've been handling this anxiety has been in taking over H's kitchen and cooking enough to feed a small army once a week, and in very strange dreams.  As in Tim Tebow has made a couple appearances where he's just hanging out and I'm looking around in my dream thinking, "Wtf are you doing here?"  Last night I had a freaky dream where people were turning into zombies.  You know how in zombie movies people start off really sick and then they go into a shot where you're inside their body and you see their cells breaking down?  That's what happened in my dream.  Then we zoom back out and people all over the place are zombies and I'm yelling for my sister to save me.

Watching Zombieland the other day might have had something to do with that dream though.

My mom and sister are hoping to convince H to just stay down in FL with me so I have my twin and an automatic roommate.  Which would be awesome.  Her boyfriend already said I could have joint custody of her anyway.

Oh yeah, a better definition of "quarter-life crisis" would be nice, probably.  That's where when you get to twenty-five and you aren't anywhere near where you thought you'd be so you either: A. change careers, B. pack up your stuff and move far away, or C. both.

So until next time,
xoxo

Quarter-Life Crisis

Maybe I should start off with an introduction.

Hi, I'm Bekah.  I currently live in NW Georgia right below the Appalachian Mountains.  I've been out of school for about two years with my bachelor's in business management and I actually have a job in my field, thankfully. Thanks to the recession/depression that the US is in it took me about a year after graduating to find it, but I am thankful none the less.  Also thanks to the economy, I still live at home.  Honestly, considering the circumstances of everything, this is not uncommon.  In fact, this is very common.  Had I graduated from college the same time I graduated from high school, I'd have had three or four jobs to pick from before I was even out of school and I'd probably have already been living somewhere that is not my parents' home.  But c'est la vie.

Don't get me wrong, my parents are great people.  It's more of a roommate situation, they leave me alone and I leave them alone.  They let me keep my dog.  There is just one little thing that's been bugging me though.

I'm turning twenty-five this year.

And I still live at home.

Do you see my dilemma?

My sister lives in SW Florida about an hour and a half away from Miami with her husband and two kids. Their moving was pretty sudden because of issues I'd rather not discuss on the internet, but nothing unsavory.  I took a week's vacation time after the holidays in January to see them and I decided that I needed to do something to change my situation.  Sissy had been telling me that I should move down there since she left two years ago and now I completely understand why.  The town they live in is beautiful and very safe, and the weather is perfect.  I was on the beach tanning in January while it was 45* F at home.

So when I got back with my lovely tan I talked to my boss and his boss and let them know that I wanted to transfer.  It was nothing about being unhappy at my current store (I work in retail) or the people I work with, it was just something I felt like I needed to do.  I felt like I'd hit a plateau in GA, nothing was changing, I really wanted to move up with my career, I have no love life to speak of, and it really bothered me that my niece thinks I'm the phone and my nephew doesn't think of me as his aunt.  

So my District Manager got me in contact with the DM down there and I'm transferring, starting work in the beginning of May.  And I'm on the verge of an anxiety attack almost every day.  Not because of work or anything like that--I have a job waiting for me when I move, I'm good.  I'm nervous because I'm moving 700 miles away from everything I've ever known.  Sissy is wonderful and letting me stay with them until I can afford to live down there on my own and can find roommates, but still.

Normally when people first move away from home it's just down the road or a county over, or if they go far away it's to go to school.  Apparently my subconscious is the "Go big or go home" type and decided to pack up and move two states away.

So, this is my quarter-life crisis.  What's that, you ask?  It's where in your mid twenties you freak out and either change jobs, change your location, or both.  So far, I'm just changing my location from the mountains to the sunny Gulf coast of Florida.  Thank baby Jesus that I at least have my sister and her family as a support system.

I'll be using this blog to relate the experience to anyone who decides to read it.  I'll probably post on a weekly basis if something interesting happens or I have some insight on something or have a breakdown.  

Until the next time. 

xoxo